Friday 1 May 2009

Switzerland, Cameron And The Higgs Boson

I am confident that nobody has made this three-way link before, but I believe it is a valid one.

As visitors of Next Left may have noticed, Sunder Katwala launched a verbal attack on Switzerland and its bankers. In response I tried to come to the defence of this small and peace-loving country, but I missed out on one key argument. Switzerland has CERN, and the large Hadron Collider will solve the mystery of the universe. I think in a balloon and parachute game, this is a pretty good defence.

The problem with theories of the universe at the moment is that there is something that doesn’t make sense. Mass cannot be determined. Surely the answer cannot be 42, so what is it? The missing element that gives mass is explained in theory as the Higgs Boson (the God particle), and the scientists at CERN are hoping it will be seen in their huge experiment. This (apparently) will explain everything.

An eagerly awaited press release from CERN tells us that happily the 53rd magnet has been put in place and the repair work is complete. This comes after the huge anti-climax in September last year when we were awaiting a black-hole, only to be bitterly disappointed.

An analogy can be made with British politics. Cameron’s elusive policies are like the Higgs Boson. They would explain a lot in theory, but unfortunately nobody can find them. Perhaps they do not exist after all.

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