Monday 26 April 2010

A game of three halves

If you want to see those seat calculators and hung Parliament wallcharts come to life, then head over to Heggerstone Park on Sunday May 2nd to watch a game of three-sided football on a hexagonal pitch between teams representing Labour, the Tories and the LibDems.

My old friends at Philosophy Football are working with the Whitechapel Gallery gallery's writer-in-residence Sally O’Reilly, to put on the game "to echo the alliances, competition and connivances" of electoral politics.

I am not totally sold on the rules, which were invented by the Danish situationist Asger Jorn in the 1970s.

That scoring goals doesn't count - only the number each team concedes - seems tailor-made for negative campaigning. And the game might better represent the election battle if there were two balls in play at once.

No doubt a key tactic would be to trick another team into thinking you are going to form an alliance with them, before counter-punching.

So come on you reds!

And I hope the blues get trounced.

But will anyone put the ball into the yellow net?


The gallery is advertising the event with a snapshot of Bob Paisley, alongside that ghastly workhouse Emlyn Hughes and his political hero Margaret Thatcher, that most anti-football of premiers, posing with the old league trophy.

Which reminds me ...

We know that Gordon Brown is genuinely devoted to the lost cause of Raith Rovers, though their valiant campaign this season fell just short in the Scottish Cup semi-finals.

And that David Cameron isn't really much of a fan but supports Aston Villa, having been taken to a game by his Uncle, the club Chairman. (Dave missed a great opportunity this weekend to support the local Tory council leader's wheeze of changing Villa's name to add Birmingham to it).

But what about Nick Clegg? As he was born in 1967, could it really be beyond Mr Dacre's minions to indict him with excessive enthusiasm for Johann Cruyff?

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